MY GOD what a mad couple of weeks hey? I feel like I’m only just catching my breath. Has been really nice having even a few days off hospital, it’s quite easy to feel normal when you’re out of that place and not being passed from doctor to doctor. Except I had a little pang of grief earlier, only for a split second. The briefest stab. For the life I will never lead, the things I will never have. I’m getting used to the idea now which is possibly the most tragic thing. The wishes I use to have for my life have gone and they will never come back. Next week I will have a portacath fitted then we’re all set to go with these new drugs which are going to involve constant treatment and endless monitoring. No turning back then. This is my new life.