Delayed part 2
I am aware that I am blogging more frequently than ever at the moment but that’s because lots of big stuff is happening, or at least it should be. I’ll try and make this one quick as I’m knackered and a bit hungover from Karen’s show last night but basically my chemo was delayed yet again this week: on both Wednesday and Thursday my blood count was too low, in fact on Wednesday it had fallen from the previous week which it shouldn’t have done given I’d had an extra week’s break. So it’s yet another week off, putting me almost two weeks behind schedule now which is not ideal and runs the risk of me being ill for Glastonbury.
I can’t quite understand the reasons for it being so low, I normally sail through these tests so it’s all a bit of a mystery and I can’t help this nagging feeling that perhaps my poor body is just not coping with all these drugs, I’ve barely had enough time to recover from anything for the past 2 years. That’s a very scary possibility – that my body might say ‘enough’ before I’m actually ready to. No-one likes having chemo, it’s totally crap, but now I’m starting to get nervous as the longer it gets delayed…well who knows what these things in my lungs are doing, they could be growing and spreading as i write which is totally terrifying. I’m sure I’m just being dramatic and all will be back on track next week but it just seems to be one thing after the other with these drugs at the moment – sick as a dog when I’m on them, bit freaked out and paranoid when I’m not. I can’t win! 😉
I think the best thing I can do is stay calm, get some rest and eat well. And thanks to my boy and his green fingers, I’m getting through some really nice homegrown veg so that’s good.
Fingers crossed for Thursday then I suppose?